5 Surefire Signs the No Contact Rule is Working

1. Emotional Healing

There might still be feelings of regret, bitterness, and jealousy.

However, a sign that the no-contact rule is working is that while these feelings linger, you also recognize your past partner’s flaws and shortcomings. There is clarity in your thoughts, and you know for sure that there’s a clear reason why you’re no longer together.

By now, you might realize that both sides of your previous relationship are responsible for some of the drama and issues caused.

Your state of mind starts to heal emotionally. Everything begins to look a bit brighter, and the voices in your head stop whispering the negative thoughts that bother you.

You have slowly started to let go of the attachments that you were unnecessarily and unnoticeably holding on to. Of course, there are still doubts as the fondness of your shared moments goes away.

All of these mixed range of emotions are valid, but you should remember that you are still healing as you push on with this no contact rule. And your healing comes first.

You will find the proper path, which involves listening to your now clear head more than your heart in this period of time.

2. Improved Self-Esteem

If you’ve been broken up with, it can have a long-lasting impact on your self-esteem. In a study done by K.R. Carter et al., 30.1% of breakups resulted in a loss of self-esteem. Others included resulted in sadness (67.8%) and jealousy (33.6%).

This is especially true if you’ve been dealing with personal issues. The strong feelings that come with a breakup can impact your day-to-day living.

For married couples, a partner breaking up can significantly harm you and cause an emotional rollercoaster. 

The slightest comments from friends could trigger a reaction and make you spiral downward, and this is a subtle sign that this is the perfect time to start working on your self-esteem.

You’ll realize that this is all part of the grieving process, but remember not to linger too long and look forward to strengthening yourself again.

Building your character and self-worth are both needed for you to have your positive outlook on life back.

Once you realize that your value and self-concept are no longer reliant on your ex, you have begun reconnecting with your individual identity outside of the relationship. It is an ultimate sign the no contact rule is working. 

3. Clarity of Thought

After a while, you’ll start to get rid of those overwhelming emotions that are often associated with a breakup. The constant turmoil and emotional upheaval that often accompany a breakup have made it challenging to think rationally.

However, with time and distance, you may notice that you can analyze situations more objectively and make decisions with a clearer mind.

This newfound mental clarity is a positive indication that the no contact rule is contributing to your overall well-being.

4. Decreased Negative Interactions

Are you in the correct social circle? 

Keep away from your ex, even the friends that you were with when you were still together. They will give you unnecessary hardships and comments that you might not be prepared to take.

When you break free from them (at least during this no contact period!), you’ll find a sense of fulfillment because those memories will no longer be haunting you. You’ll see a sharp decrease in negative interactions and no more mutual friends asking how both of you are! You’ll no longer be riddled with their pity.

This detachment from mutual social circles will be a breath of fresh air, and it will give you a sense of fulfillment, even a sense of empowerment.

5. Increased Interest from Others

Once you start healing and taking care of yourself again, word will get around. This will definitely make some heads turn as you recover from being a crying mess to an emotionally well and confident person. And that’s sexy.

You’ll no longer be wearing metaphorical dark-tinted glasses, the world will no longer seem grey and dull, you’ll be on the dating scene, and finally recover the energy to start looking for the love of your life again!

This interest from others also positively affects your mental health. According to Very Well Mind, flirting boosts self-esteem and confidence.

You might even think of getting into a casual relationship. Newsweek agrees, “Some casual rebound dating, to have fun and new experiences with different people, might be just what you need.”

However, remember that casual dating and flirting are not necessarily a major sign that the no-contact rule is working.

While it may sound like progress, you have to assess the intentions behind your actions. Are you doing it because it’s fun, or are you doing it out of spite? Really ask yourself: am I doing this because I like it, or am I just posing for an online picture that might reach my ex? 

If your answer is the former, go on and collect those compliments and go on these dates as a renewed, healed, and empowered person.

Additional Sign: You are starting to seek out new relationships with a long-term perspective.

With emotional healing, improved self-esteem, clarity of thought, decreased negative interactions, and increased attention from others, you most likely have a better idea of what you want in your next actual and healthy relationship.

Perhaps this is the surefire sign that the no-contact period is showing to be effective. At this point, you must feel a sense of relief that the grieving period is getting better.

You’ve passed the stage of negative emotions and might have come to the conclusion that there are no hard feelings and you can be ‘mutual friends’ without having to necessarily contact that person.

You might have realized that it’s time to move on and get going with future relationships, especially romantic relationships, rather than focusing on the past.