What Makes the First Year of Marriage the Most Difficult?

The first year of your relationship can be fantastic and challenging, but marriage is a magnificent commitment that requires sacrifice and love. For your future happiness, the first year is vital.


It becomes a significant adjustment as the boundaries of your connection change. It might be challenging to adjust to a new place to live. For many couples, the first year of marriage is complicated and maturing as they adapt to new beliefs and traditions and build a new existence.


According to psychologist Dr. Rachel Sussman, the first year of marriage can be challenging as partners learn to balance their needs and want with their spouses and their own. This calls for a lot of tolerance, cooperation, and comprehension.



The first year of marriage is said to be the most difficult. This is often because you’ve spent so much time as a single living a particular lifestyle. Everything changes after being married. You settle in and start living with someone new. You must adapt to one another’s preferences, routines, and ways of living. It frequently can lead to the first obstacles in your existence.


6 Challenges You Might Face in Your First Year of Marriage


In a relationship, you usually behave perfectly in front of your lover. However, it may become more difficult to consistently be your best self if you get married because of new duties and daily struggles.


In addition, marriages survive not only on love but also on conflicts and disagreements. Therefore, understanding how to have challenging talks with respect is essential for making it through the first year of marriage and laying a solid foundation.


But why is the first year of marriage the hardest?


“During the first year of marriage, couples frequently deal with irrational expectations. When reality doesn’t live up to their romanticized ideals of what marriage should be like, people may get disillusioned and find it difficult to stand on their own.” – Psychologist Dr. James Brown.


Related: A Relationship Can Be Damaged By: Common Factors & How to Avoid


You might be able to prevent some of the issues that practically every couple encounters when adjusting to married life by talking about the following topics:


Identity Crisis


close up of hand holding text over black background


Particularly for women, marriage can result in an identity transformation. It represents a turning point in your life as you go from being a team of one to two. Your obligations at work and home can shift, making it challenging to balance them. However, a committed partnership based on support and trust can assist you in getting through this crisis.


Related: Unlock Your True Self: The Benefits of Self-Discovery


Lack Of Dedication


You must build the foundation for a beautiful married life during the first few years. Both parties must put a lot of love and effort into it. Your marriage will have problems if you don’t have them.


You or your partner may wish that you or your partner will neglect your connection while you focus on other aspects of your married life instead. The relationship can then fall apart due to this lack of commitment.




Both of you had private rooms and time for yourself during your relationship. However, you will live together for the rest of your lives after marriage. Plenty of adaptations will exist, but you can also encounter disagreements and conflict.


Such pointless disputes that drag on will be detrimental to your marriage. In these circumstances, pride, stubbornness, and ego are a prescription for disaster. Both of you will need to compromise and make allowances for one another. Your only option for resolving this situation is effective communication.


Economic Concerns


One of the most challenging aspects of a relationship is dealing with money. Changing your spending and financial habits during the first year of marriage can be a chore to suit the two of you and your family.


You and your partner can have different viewpoints on money and saving. What you view as a fun item may be necessary for your mate. In each partnership, it’s crucial to comprehend your demands and make financial plans.


Lack of Independence


man in brown polo shirt sitting on white couch


For many, getting married after being independent for a long time can be quite the test. Marriages involve a lot of effort, including sacrifice, understanding, and adjustments.


The first year of marriage can also be challenging due to a lack of intimacy. This may result from tension, a hectic schedule, or different wants and requirements. Prioritizing closeness and finding methods to connect emotionally and physically is crucial for relationships. — Sex therapist Dr. Karen Wilson


After marriage, you could no longer have the same level of independence you once did financially and socially.


It’s because you and your partner will now be co-heading a home. As a result, you both share equal responsibility for household management, including caring for family members. This might entail making some concessions to your freewheeling past.


Related: She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes at the Sink: The Importance of Communication


Family Relations


Not only spouses united in marriage, but also their families. Therefore, family dynamics may also be fundamental to your marriage.


You must get to know your in-laws throughout the first year after your wedding. Putting off their goals to win the approval of their families is a typical error newlyweds make. But, in the long term, it will just make everyone frustrated and unhappy with the circumstances.


In addition, many millennial couples respect their families and want planned pregnancies. They might, however, be under pressure from their relatives to establish their own families.


In these situations, remember that family planning requires both couples to be prepared and on the same page. Having kids can be a significant burden, especially if your relationship is transitioning.


What Can You Do To Make Your First Marriage Year Better?


Are all marriages challenging? You probably have a pretty good understanding at this point that the first year of marriage is the most difficult and delicate time in a marriage. However, you will have a happy married life if you can get through this stage of marriage. 


Communication Is Vital


Partners should be able to resolve most difficulties through open conversation. When facing challenges, express yourself and feel secure with your spouse.


Talking things out can assist in resolving problems, no matter how minor or significant they may be.

However, pay attention to your speech. Disputes, attacks, or the exchange of unpleasant remarks are not beneficial. Listen to your partner more than you hear them.


Read more about communicating in relationships!


Responsible And Friendly


Every person expects their spouse to treat them properly and behave appropriately regarding commitment. They have a history of bonding with your spouse, whether they are close friends or extended family. Therefore, be courteous and understanding with them. To prevent upsetting your partner, you can express a different opinion nicely.


A special tip? Help your partner with household responsibilities. Those things won’t go unnoticed!


Mark Special Days Collectively


Your marriage is prepared for the days ahead during the first year. When it comes to commemorating key milestones this year, be serious. Do something special for you two for your first date, engagement anniversary, or spouse’s birthday. Watching a movie or having dinner by candlelight at home is OK. These modest events will strengthen your relationship and reignite your affection.


Commitment To Family Time


family having dinner and celebrating


Many couples may find it more and more challenging to take time away from their partners due to work and other obligations. However, spending quality time together is crucial in the first few years of your marriage.


Giving the other person your full attention is unnecessary for spending time with them. You and your partner can enjoy anything together, such as simply relaxing on the couch while binge-watching your favorite show. Spending time with your partner can revitalize your relationship and create a stronger bond that will keep you going when things get complicated.


As a result, we can conclude that the first year of marriage is full of challenges that you must overcome as a couple. But your relationship will only get stronger and better after you get through this stage. So, educate yourselves and support one another so you can age together and have a happy marriage.


In a nutshell


The first year for married couples is no easy feat. You will likely experience tough times with each other, but a healthy relationship is about staying clear of unrealistic expectations. Therefore, we suggest focusing on communication for a happier relationship, starting from your honeymoon phase, the honeymoon period, or preferably earlier.


Your life partner is ultimately going to suffer if you have poor communication.


Like Zach Brittle said in her interview with Shaneco.com, the honeymoon phase always ends, and marriage counselors know that the key to happy couples is that they can communicate excellently.



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Johan Froentjes

Johan Froentjes