24th September 2023

Why is My Boyfriend Mean? Understanding Abusive Behavior in Relationships

Why is My Boyfriend Mean? Understanding Abusive Behavior in Relationships

When it comes to romantic relationships, it can be difficult to understand why a partner might be mean to you. Unfortunately, some people are bad and engage in abusive behavior in their relationships. However, it’s important to note that other factors, such as medical or mental illness, may be at play.

Long-distance relationships can also add stress and strain to a relationship, leading to negative behavior. Learn more about the challenges of long-distance relationships in our latest article.

It’s important to remember that the risk of violence is never acceptable in any relationship. If your boyfriend is being mean to you, opening a dialog window and having a normal conversation about it is essential. If the behavior continues, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship or seeking outside help, such as counseling or therapy. 

Just what does a mean boyfriend do?

Finding out what “mean” implies takes very little imagination.

The characteristics of a bad boyfriend are making inappropriate comments, treating you with contempt, and withholding the things he knows you need, crave, or want.

What sets apart a mean boyfriend from another mean individual is that he is supposed to be your lover!

Do you want to give the okay? Oh, no!

There are some terrible people, but your boyfriend shouldn’t be one of them. Healthy relationships should be about respect. Unfortunately, not everyone has an evil heart, and not everything is about you. On the other hand, if you’re experiencing any of the following, it’s best to reach out to the police.

– An abusive boyfriend

– Domestic Abuse or Domestic violence

– Other Physical violence

When dealing with abusive people showing abusive behavior, aggressive behavior, or maybe just a disrespectful boyfriend, there might still be solutions for their actions.

A normal relationship should not impair your mental health. To try and solve the matter, start by answering the question, “why is my partner so mean?” This strategy may allow you to change the current scenario. Please don’t turn the cold shoulder on your partner; instead, focus on why you’re going through bad times to prevent it from happening for long periods.

The apparent symptoms of a toxic partner

An abusive spouse typically displays these two traits.

1. You can count on them to trick you.

If you feel that you’re the only one putting effort into the connection, you’re right. Generally, people with toxic personalities can manipulate you into feeling accountable to them. They can also take from you or injure you in some way while making it seem like they were acting in your best interest. This frequently happens in situations when power is distributed unevenly.

2. They express no regret.

You’re wasting your time arguing with them since they’ll always have an excuse. But, then, they’ll make it up, change the order of events, and relate it so convincingly that they’ll start to believe it themselves.

No one has to say sorry if they screw up. Please don’t feel obligated to apologize before proceeding. Continue forward without them. Be truthful while keeping the dialogue going. It provides no use whatsoever. Some people care more about doing what is right than what makes them happy, but you have better things to do than provide ammunition for right-fighters.

Here are the main reasons why your boyfriend is mean to you

  • He doesn’t like you
  • He has an addiction
  • You misunderstand him
  • His walls are up
  • He’s a narcissist
  • You’re not necessary to him

In-depth analysis of the driving factors

Inadequate Interaction Due to Lack of Communication

photo of women having conversation

Insufficient communication between you and your boyfriend contributes to his occasionally harsh behavior. It’s sufficient to speak openly and check for understanding. Strengthen your abilities as a communicator by training your ears to listen more carefully. Find out what’s troubling them, and work to fix it to strengthen your bond with them.

Learn more about communication: ‘Tips for Communicating in Relationships: Build a Stronger Bond

He doesn’t care about you at all.

A man will do anything to make you happy if he likes you. He takes pleasure in your happiness as much as he does his own. You can’t hold it against him that he doesn’t want you if he mistreats you and doesn’t say or do anything to make up for it.

More often than, a lack of care toward you results in popular forms of mental abuse, like guilt-tripping and gaslighting.

Substance misuse is a concern in his life.

A man who can’t control himself will likely put his addiction first.

It could be a video game, but it could also be a lot worse. Check your boyfriend’s actions to see whether he has a problem with being harsh.

You misunderstand him entirely.

Your partner’s harsh treatment of you may be attributed to your misunderstanding of him. For example, if he tells you that you look nice, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t think you’re attractive or likes you. Men aren’t as able to utilize language figuratively as women are.

He’s prepared to defend himself.

He may have strong walls if he has been severely hurt in a relationship. Then he may be acting defensively, which explains his unjust treatment of you. If that’s the case, you two need to have a conversation about it, which will force him to be more honest.

Convince him once again of your undying devotion and continued availability. A calmer demeanor is required before he may talk, but he will do so when the time is right.

His personality is self-centered.

Is his self-centeredness limited to only that? Is he vain of himself? Perhaps he continuously disparages others to elevate his ego. Indeed he always has the greatest of everything, correct?

By studying more about narcissism, determine if your boyfriend’s cruel behavior results from having a narcissistic spouse. Under these conditions, our recommendation is to leave as swiftly as possible. Narcissists can be disrespectful people and just tricky people to be with. They can show bad behavior for a long time, and they could improve their behavior through therapy.

Have you dated a narcissist before? Read our article on how dating a narcissist changes your love life.

He is unconcerned with your welfare.

He may be the most significant person in your life. However, you may play a minor role in his evenings. It can be challenging to have a perfect relationship when your standards for love do not coincide.

If someone does not care about you or make you a priority in their life in exchange for what you do for them, they do not deserve you.

This behavior sometimes means your partner doesn’t like you anymore. If you’re wondering whether he still loves you, you can read our latest article.

Disrespect Management

If your boyfriend is mean to you, remember that issues like these can be resolved most of the time. Loving relationships are built on respect for one another. Showing admiration toward your partner’s sentiments and wishes is crucial for your relationship to thrive. If you’re in a relationship with a partner who constantly shows you a lack of respect, you need to speak out.

Your partner may need to recognize how their words affect you, or they may need to learn how to express their sentiments maturely. These aren’t justifications for their rudeness, but they can help you understand them better. If your spouse displays little consideration for how their words and behaviors affect you, it may be time to reassess the relationship.

Related: Dealing with Disrespect: Understanding & Overcoming Rude Behavior

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Chari Bong'osa


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