24th September 2023

50/50 Relationships – Why It Doesn’t Work

50/50 Relationships – Why It Doesn’t Work

Many think each partner bears equal responsibility for the union’s success or failure. However, this assumption is frequently false, leaving both couples disappointed and irritated. In this article, we’ll discuss why a 50/50 relationship could not work and what you can do to strengthen and improve your bond.

What exactly is a 50/50 partnership or a “Fifty-Fifty” Approach

In a 50/50 partnership, both partners concur that they will contribute equally to work and have an equal voice in decision-making. This can entail anything from distributing household responsibilities equally among all family members to granting everyone a voice in crucial life decisions.

The 50/50 approach to relationships is misguided and unrealistic. Relationships are dynamic and ever-changing, and each partner’s needs and responsibilities may change. The focus should be on balance and supporting each other, not equality. John Gottman

The Reason Why it Doesn’t Work

The concept of a “Fifty-Fifty” approach could be intriguing in theory, but it can be challenging to implement. Here are a few explanations:

It’s Unfair

Things aren’t always equal in the actual world. One partner may be better at performing specific activities, have more spare time, or earn more money. Trying to split things 50/50 to satisfy irrational expectations could make both partners enraged and unhappy. It takes some empathy to understand what you do and what you can do to support your partner.

Read here: Empathy: The Key to Improving Relationships’

Relations Develop over Time.

gray double bell clock

Each person’s demands and duties may alter because relationships constantly develop and change. For instance, it could be challenging to maintain a 50/50 split if one partner is required to perform more work or household duties.

Equal Rights are not Equal to Balance.

A more effective tactic is to emphasize balance rather than equality. This entails finding a way to assist and satisfy the other person’s demands, even if one partner assumes slightly more or slightly less responsibility at various points.

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

Regardless of your thoughts on the 50/50 proposition, consider the following relationship-building advice:

Interaction Is Crucial

In every relationship, open and honest communication is crucial. Give each other the time and consideration you need to comprehend one another’s needs and perspectives.

Related:Tips for Communicating in Relationships: Build a Stronger Bond’

You Have to Adapt

Be adaptable and prepared to modify as necessary to accommodate one another’s changing demands and circumstances. This can entail making adjustments to the partnership’s roles and responsibilities.

Be mindful of supporting one another.

Keep in mind that your collaboration is for mutual assistance, not competition. You might improve a relationship and endure longer if you enter it intending to assist each other.

Recognize uniqueness

Celebrate your differences and incorporate them into your partnership. You can create a more powerful partnership than the combination of its parts by accepting both the positive and negative aspects of one another.

Related:Building Trust in a Relationship: 6 Steps to Fix Your Relationship’

Why a 100/100 Mindset is Better

In successful marriages, partners work together to meet each other’s needs, even if it means that one partner does more at some times and the other does more at other times. Susan Heitler

The 100/100 method of relationships is a more fair and more modern approach to intimate relationship dynamics and boasts more equitable relationships. The 100/100 approach emphasizes the significance of both partners fully committing to creating a fair relationship rather than relying on the conventional “fifty-fifty” approach, which can result in inflated expectations and disappointment. In this method, both partners share equal responsibility for the relationship’s success or failure and collaborate to build a close connection dynamic that meets each other’s needs and promotes lasting relationships. This method differs from how relationships are now structured, where many individuals hold the idea of equal responsibility in high regard but need help to implement in actual relationships. The 100/100 method promotes open and honest communication, adaptability, and an emphasis on mutual support, making it crucial in developing a healthy relationship.

Beste Güneysu Şeker confirms that full effort is imperative to make a change in your relationship. “The majority of individuals desire a carefree existence. We are dissatisfied when anything negative happens because we strive for perfection in all aspects of our lives. This holds true for our romantic partnerships as well. To alter what we can in our lives and in our romantic relationships, we must have the guts to see and accept some facts.


Relationships with a “fifty-fifty” mentality, in which both partners believe they should be equally responsible and in charge of making decisions, do not always work out. Since relationships inevitably evolve and life isn’t always fair, it’s challenging to maintain a 50/50 share in real life. Balance is far more crucial than equality if you want to develop a stronger and more permanent bond. This entails figuring out how to support and attend to each other’s needs, even if it necessitates progressively swapping who does what. You must be able to communicate openly, exhibit flexibility, concentrate on supporting one another, and accept one another’s differences if you want to develop a stronger bond.


Why is it harmful if a relationship is 50/50?

A 50/50 partnership can result in unrealistic expectations and disappointment because life isn’t always fair, and relationships evolve with time. Therefore, it is best to concentrate on locating a compromise that satisfies the demands of both parties.

What can I do to strengthen our relationship?

Honest and open communication, adaptation, and dedication to mutual support are necessary to develop a healthy relationship. In addition, embracing one another’s differences and praising individuality can help to build lasting relationships with the people you love.

About Author

Johan Froentjes

A veteran writer for relationship content who uses academic research to write articles and provide expert insights.

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